Post 15 – Final Peer Review Recap
04 Dec 2010 Leave a Comment
Well! We have certainly come a long way, haven’t we?
With the final peer review under way, I will share some things that I’ve learned.
The first, and most important thing that I’ve learned about peer review is how helpful it is. That would seem like a given, but let me explain why. When you’re writing an essay, it’s hard to pick out your own errors. Maybe this is because we are biased and think that they sound great? Who knows… but it is really great to have an outsider come in and read your essay and tell you what things work and what things don’t work. Also, it is easy to get carried away in your writing and forget who your audience is. Again, it is nice to have your peers set you back on the right track and say “hey! this doesn’t make sense! I am your audience and I have no idea what you are talking about…revise revise revise!!!”
I also found it extremely helpful to read other people’s essays because once I pointed out their flaws, it was easier to go back and find mine.
Obviously, the least useful parts of peer review were the parts where my peers would not give any advice for revision. This usually didn’t happen often, because there was always something to be revised, but I know how annoying it can be when all your reviewer says is “great job!”
So, overall, I’ve learned that my classmates have some amazing talent when it comes to writing, and it’s always been a pleasure to read their work and use it as a good example. Their advice is always handy, and it’s very helpful to see the points they are making–this gives me a chance to think about things in a new way. Sometimes I incorporate that thought into my own writing and make connections between the two. Peer review is a very humbling and beneficial part of writing, and I know that in the future, I will always consider using my audience as a reviewer for any of my own writings.
Blog Post 14
22 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
Tonight my group and I met for our collaborative work. I’d have to say that everything went really well!! We came prepared with a script, props, and equipment. I noticed over the past couple of days that…like writing, it is hard to come up with a good script that flows well and gets the point across. It’s also hard coming up with something that will keep the audience’s attention. Luckily, another group member provided us with a really great script. Working together on the script was much like editing a paper. We had to make sure that the script made sense, that the lines were in the right places, and that every line was coherent with the point of the video. Editing the video could easily be compared to editing a piece of writing. Omitting needless words is much like omitting scenes or bits of video that don’t really add anything, or perhaps do not make sense. Like a piece of writing, where words and sentences need to be clear, the actors of the video also need to be clear in the way that they speak, and the words that they use.
Making this video was perhaps a bit more fun than writing, just because it allowed for more creativity, but it felt very similar to revising and creating a writing piece. There is a significant connection between writing and technology, and this project proves that the two go hand in hand.
Looking Back, Looking Forward.
17 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
It seems that all of the readings and projects that we’ve done in the past are relevant to the next collaborative project that we’ll be engaged in. Especially in our Youtube analysis project, we analyzed the style of the commercial and named the elements that helped the commercial, and some elements that didn’t work out. Many of us viewed and analyzed a lot of commercials before finding a really good one. This definitely helped me to see what makes a good video and what doesnt.
Also, in thinking about ancient styles, we were able to distinguish certain ornaments that were used in style –such as tropes and figures of thought. These ornaments are especially used in videos, and it’s important to see what those ornaments are and how they work to better a certain style of a video or a piece of writing. For example, most of the good videos that I came across included figures of thought, or well known phrases that were attention grabbers. I think that applying this concept will be crucial to a successful video.
Also, other elements of style, such as anticipation and irony are useful in videos. These kinds of elements keep the audiences attention, and it is going to be interesting to see how my group and I will work these different elements into our videos.
We can take a lot from all the readings we’ve done, but the thing we need to focus on the most seems to be how to correctly apply the elements and concepts of good style to create something that flows nicely.
Peer Review Recap, Part 3
10 Nov 2010 Leave a Comment
This peer review process was my favorite out of the three that we’ve done. It wasn’t my favorite in terms of the advice that I recieved, but the reviewing that I did for others. The students who reviewed my piece gave great advice on editing, but it was more fun for me to look at their project and see the things that they did. This project was the most interesting because it was not just writing. We had to create our own rules and include non-textual elements. Of course, my draft lacked some of that, but this peer review helped me get better ideas of what I could use in my own project.
In terms of the past peer reviews compared to this one, there are many similarities as to what my peers look for when they are reading my work. Many of the comments I’ve gotten include grammatical advice, but the most common thing that appears is the clarity of my work. In my first essay, it was difficult for some readers to pick out what my point was, and for my second one, it became a little more clearer. In this project, the only advice I received had to do with grammar. This shows me that from the beginning of this class, I have made progress through the help of my classmates. Reading their reviews, and also reading their work and other students work, I am able to compare my own writing to theirs and see what is good, and what needs to go. This has helped me tremendously, because now I can read over my work and decide if other readers would understand it. If I don’t think my work is good enough, I know where I need to edit and what I need to change.
Final summation: I am very thankful for peer review and all the classmates that I’ve worked with so far. Their ideas have helped my writing to progress.
What are others saying?
27 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
Rule #17 – Omit needless words. This is one I struggle with. I found much of the same advice in Stephen King’s On Writing,and I still have a tendency to toss completely unnecessary adverbs into my prose. I can’t, however, agree with Megan on the striking of this rule for academic papers. I know going in that I’m going to be cutting ~30% of my work in the final editing, so I also know that to come up with 1,500 quality words, I’ll need about 2,150 before I begin that edit. Sometimes I cut a little more; sometimes I cut a little less. Regardless, I don’t think it’s ever a good idea to fill up a word count with words that don’t contribute. No one likes having to carry the dead weight on a team, and I believe that should apply to my writing, as well. All those nouns, adjectives, and correctly conjugated verbs just resent the adverbs and it’s a big, ugly mess. – Tracey
I also have this trouble with words. Many of the words that I use are simply place-holders. It is interesting to read this now because I just read a lecture by Gertrude Stein, and she discussed each part of a sentence and what she liked about it. She hates nouns because they don’t do anything active, but she loves verbs because they act and they can always be mistaken. She goes on to talk about adverbs and adjectives, and it is a really interesting read if you want to look at it from a different perspective. I agree with you that with all these things our paragraphs can become messy, but I do think that it makes editing interesting and fun. Even though it becomes tedious, it’s fun to take words out and wonder why you even had that word in there. 
I almost got defensive during some parts of Strunk and White’s guide because it seemed as if it was a book written by a know it all. I understand that there are rules and principles, but as a growing writer, I at times wanted to throw the book across the room. I found myself critiquing my writing so heavily that I wondered if I should even be an English Major. I had to take a step back from the reading, and realize that as a writer, there is always room for improvement. I went from frustration with my own writing, to realizing that anyone can write a guide for writing if you know the elements. Whether or not you can apply them to your writing is another thing. After realizing that this was just a guide, filled with suggestions, I was able to look at “The Elements of Style” as a reference and not as an ultimate goal as writer. – Allison
Haha, it’s funny that you mentioned this, because I also got very frustrated with this book. It seemed as though much of it was stuff I already knew, and I didn’t like hearing it again from someone who thought they knew it all. I do believe that it is important though to read through many guides and lectures. It’s great to get an idea from other writers about what kinds of elements they use. Usually this leads to new insights and inspirations–always helpful as a growing writer!
I try and get my point right across and fill in after the statement is on the page, but this tool suggests to place the empathetic words at the end. This way you are keeping the reader engaged in what you are writng about and they are forced to keep reading so they can figure out how you are going to end the sentances. – Kristyn
I enjoyed this tool that you mention, because I’ve begin to notice it in books that I read. It is a very helpful tool in keeping the reader’s attention, and it is interesting to try in my own writing. I think keeping the reader engaged is a very important aspect of any good piece of writing, and I liked that you mentioned this in your first impressions, because it also stuck out to me. 
Comparing Strunk and White to Williams
22 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
In my previous post about Strunk and White’s book, “The Elements of Style”, I mentioned that I did not find the book particularly engaging or helpful. It was a helpful reminder of good writing techniques, but much of what I read were things that I think any writer should, and would, already know.
Joseph M. Williams book, “Style, Toward Clarity And Grace” was much more enriching for me as a writer. While Strunk and White gave good examples of writing and offered up some techniques for better composition, Williams helped me to see the simple things that made a piece of writing great. Williams stressed the idea of subject, and he also provided readers with a nice section on concision (115). I found this chapter particularly helpful because it helped break down sentences, offer ways to shorten sentences, use different words that have a greater meaning, and form well developed and concise paragraphs. As a writer, it is easy for me to go on and on when I’m passionate about something, but reading Williams’ book has helped me to revise some of my work and find better ways to express what I’m trying to say.
In chapter 4 of Williams’ book, we learn about emphasis (67). Again, this section helped me to revise some of my own work. Sometimes it is easy to overlook the subject of a sentence when there is not enough emphasis on it. There are also times when there really isn’t enough emphasis being put at the beginning of the sentence, where the subject SHOULD be. Williams helped me to think about directness and clarity in writing.
On page 157 of “Style, Towards Clarity and Grace,” Williams talks about elegance in a piece of writing and he mentions emphasis and rhythm. Rhythm is a very important part of writing, and it helps a piece to flow nicely and it also helps readers to easily understand what is being said.
In Chapter 10, Williams’ gives good advice about grammar and what words should and should not be used in writing. Strunk and White also spend some time on this, but Williams’ book gives some really great examples of bad grammar and how to correct it.
While Strunk and White’s book includes many of the elements in Williams’ book, Williams takes it a step further. Upon first reading Strunk and White, I did find it useful, but many of the things that I read were simply a review for me. However, in Williams’ book, everything was fresh, and it was nice to read some pieces that were considered “bad” writing and to see how to correct them. All of the examples in Williams’ book were very helpful to me, and some of them even mirrored many of my own mistakes.
I think that as a useful tool for writing, Strunk and White’s “The Elements of Style” is not nearly as helpful as Joseph Williams’ “Style, Toward Clarity And Grace.” Williams’ book is much more sophisticated, and it takes the time to point out the details of “bad” writing that can easily be overlooked.
Revising with Williams
20 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
This was so much fun! It’s amazing how many passages you can point out and edit once you’ve read Williams… Well, here it is!!
Occupancy in a University residence hall is restricted to currently enrolled students at Eastern Michigan University. Occupants other than currently enrolled Eastern students are allowed on an exception basis. However, priority will be maintained for current Eastern students. Each resident is required to make application and sign a contract for the appropriate term. As such, the resident agrees to make the designated prepayment and agrees to the payment of fees as established for the term(s) of occupancy according to the current payment schedule. Additionally, the residents are responsible for compliance with all terms and conditions set forth in the contract and the Residence Hall Handbook.
Occupancy in a University residence hall is restricted and maintained for currently enrolled students at Eastern Michigan University. Other occupants are allowed on an exception basis. An application and a signed contract is required for each appropriate term. As such, the resident agrees to make the designated prepayments and fees according to the current payment schedule. Additionally, the residents are responsible for compliance with all terms and conditions set forth in the contract and the Residence Hall Handbook.
The passage I chose seemed very redundant. When I read Williams, I remember thinking how easy it is to repeat things that are not necessary. When talking about sentences, Williams says to pick out what is necessary and focus the attention on that. You can throw away things that aren’t really needed and still have a perfectly decent sentence. This is what I chose to do for this passage in the EMU catalog.
The third sentence in the passage that I chose basically repeated the very first sentence, so I combined the two and cut out what was unnecessary. It also seems like this passage was written for someone who has absolutely no idea what is going on. Some of the terms were used over and over again. I cut these out because I don’t think they are very useful. I shifted the focus of the sentences to the subjects that were absolutely necessary (occupancy, contract, payments, etc…). I believe that my revision helped to shorten the passage and narrow the focus for the reader. These revisions were easy to make because the errors were easy to find. It was also easy to apply Williams’ ideas of subjects and clear sentences to this passage.
Strunk and White First Impressions…
15 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
I read Strunk and White my senior year of high school for a creative writing class, so no impression was necessarily made on me. However, since I have not read this book in a few years, it was nice to look through it again and review some key points.
I think that as a student, Strunk and White is very useful. There are many examples in the book of good writing techniques, but many of the techniques are something that writers have already learned. So although this book is useful as a writer and a student, much of it is just a review. Don’t get me wrong, I find it very helpful, because some things that I’ve learned as a writer I tend to forget. Strunk and White is a nice reminder of those devices that can be used for good writing.
I like that this book is more of a manual than an actual essay or article like the other pieces we have read. This “manual” style of writing makes it an easy and fast read.
The section that I found particularly useful was the chapter entitled “An Approach to Style” (66). Until I took this class, I never really focused much on style. I usually tended to think more about grammar and usage of words in my writing, and how everything fit together. I’ve come to realize now that style has everything to do with good writing, and this chapter helped to remind me of some useful techniques and ideas about style in writing.
The section that was not useful to me was “Elementary Principles of Composition” (15). I felt like any writer should know these things prior to writing something. The title of the chapter kind of lays it out for me…”elementary”…many of the things mentioned in this chapter are things you might learn in elementary school…things that perhaps a good writer should never forget. I feel that this section of the book would not be useful to many writers, because many of them, and hopefully all of them, would already know and understand the principles of composition.
Overall, I enjoyed reading this book. It was a fast read, and quite easy to understand. The manual style of it kept my attention and it was interesting to review some of the things that I’ve already learned as a writer.
Peer Review Recap Part 2
11 Oct 2010 Leave a Comment
Well, I haven’t had any classmates review my draft yet, but I did share my essay with an “outside reader.”
Overall, my outside reader said that everything was clear to her. She said that despite the fact that she did not read Crowley and Hawhee’s book, she was still able to understand the terms that I used. She said everything seemed clear except what a trope was. She suggested that I explain in the essay what a trope is, and what it does in a piece of writing. She also suggested that I explain in the beginning what the commercial is and not wait to describe it until the end.
I found her advice very useful. I know that I have to polish up some definitions and make my references more clear so that an outside audience will understand what I’m talking about.
Still need to hear from classmates, but so far this is the review that i have!
a few commercials…
04 Oct 2010 1 Comment
I like the repetition in this video, with the man saying “back to me” – it’s effective in keeping the audience’s intention and makes us want to stick around for the end. Also, the video’s pace is quick so we do not lose focus on what we are supposed to be seeing and understanding.
For some reason, “take the scary out of life” really stuck with me after watching this video. I think the visual and musical aspects of this video go together nicely. It’s effective in keeping our attention to the very end because we do not know that this is an ad for insurance.
This, like the one above, keeps our attention. We don’t know that the tree is going to smash the car, so it comes as a surprise to us. The use of music and dancing is very entertaining for the audience, and also, the use of the phrase “life comes at you fast” is easy to remember, and often used.
I really like the style of this one and how it is comparing how one can save car insurance to an exciting sports announcer. This makes car insurance seem more fun and interesting, and it’s a fun…metaphor? to play with. I’m not quite sure what I would classify the style as, and what ornaments and/or tropes are used in this, but I’m looking forward to researching this to find out. Also, the emphasis the speaker uses in the beginning of the commercial is very useful in this commercial.
